GRANDPARENTS DAY

Sometimes ago, I was invited in a school to speak before parents/ grandparents on the Grandparents day. When I asked the school staff what they would like me to speak, they said talk about their relationship with the kids. Here is what I had to say.

My son with his grand parents at Sangam

I was reluctant to come here.  I have never attended such a function. My grandparents lived in another city and my granddaughter lives in another country. I got or get little time with them. Neither I know the formalities of the function nor what to speak. But I am happy to be here. Had I declined the offer I would have missed such a wonderful presentation by the tiny-tots. Congratulations to the parents and grandparents for talented kids and to the school staff for bringing out the talent.

We are two brothers and a sister: she being the eldest and I being the youngest. My father was a busy lawyer in Allahabad and whatever free time he got, he spent it in social work: he was active in RSS. For months, we would not see him: we grew fatherless. We owe everything to our mother. She was a wonderful person and a super-mom. My grandparents played a played in her being a super-mom and I would like to share it with you. 

My mother as I remember her

My parents got married in 1939. My mother was 17 years old and was in 11th class. My father was studying law in Lucknow. After marriage, she accompanied him to Lucknow; completed  her intermediate in 1940 and my father completed his law. He came back to his home town Banda and started his legal practice but my mother had ambitions to study further. She went to live in a hostel  in Benaras Hindu University to do her graduation. This was a time when there was no direct train from Banda to Benaras: one had to change trains twice – at Manikpur and Allahabad – to reach Benaras. She completed her Bachelors in 1942 and LLB in 1944. I understand that she was the first lady law graduate from BHU. We came to this world only after she finished her education. 

My father shifted to Allahabad in 1950. He earned enough to send us to any school in the country but being a staunch RSS man, he sent us to Hindi medium schools. At home, we could converse in Hindi only. But my mother understood the importance of English. Every evening, after we were back from our games and my sister from guitar or Bharatnatyam classes, our mother would ask us to read Reader’s Digest or English newspaper aloud. She would correct our pronunciation and explain the meaning. She could  do so, not only because her English was very good but she was well read.

My mother was young; she wanted to study. And she could do it only because our grand parents reposed confidence in her and encouraged her to study.  

The point that I wish to make is - Have confidence in your young ones; encourage them to find their dreams.

We had happy and fun-filled childhood: our mother ensured that. The favourite words of my mother were ‘What are you doing in the house. Go out and play’ and during exams, ‘Stop studying, go to sleep. You should be fresh in the morning’. She would accompany us to picnics, Melas, Dushhera-Jhankees, short play competitions, Central India Tennis championship and we would have fun. The only thing that me and my brother were not permitted was Hindi films. We could see only English films. Hindi films were privilege of my mother and sister only. My sister would miss school or bunk classes and they would see a film first day first show. I don’t think that there is another mother-daughter team that has seen so many films together, after bunking daughter’s classes.

During my graduation, my brother joined air-force and sister got married when I was doing law. My mother was left with no company to see Hindi films. We started going to Hindi films. My friends joined the group. My mother used to pay for the tickets and of course for the drinks and whatever we ate there. It was great time. We once saw 23 films in a month. This continued till I passed my law in 1973, when I went to start my practise in Banda district courts.

Not only my childhood was full of fun but it was good fun with my son as well. I was more like my mother rather than my father, to him. We played games together, did lot of stargazing on the banks of Ganges, watched  comets {Halley (1986), Hyakutake (1996) and  Hale–Bopp (1997)} that went by and total solar eclipse on 24th  October 1995, was part of his every extra-curricular activity, watched TV serials (Cosmos: A Personal Voyage by Carl Sagan and StarTrek) together and when we purchased our computer, played computer games (Prince of Persia, where you as a protagonist had to defeat the Grand Vizier Jaffar and save an imprisoned princess in an hour) together. 

Nowadays, there is more emphasis on studies, grades and coaching: the fun part is on the losing side. This is not correct. Let me tell you another true story. 

The last century has seen two great scientists of all times: Albert Einstein in the first half and Richard Feynman in second. During the Second World War Feynman was at Los Alamos developing the atom bomb in the Manhattan project. After the war, he went to the Cornell University. One day, when he was sitting in the university cafeteria, one of the student, who was fooling around, threw a plate in the air. The plate was white with the red symbol of the university in the middle. It spun and wobbled. It was interesting sight and intrigued Feynman. He started calculating relationship between the spinning and wobbling of the plates. It was difficult and was consuming considerable time. His friends told him that it was of no use and he was wasting time. He admitted that it was of no use to him but was doing it for fun. But he was wrong about, it being of no use to him. 

With my son - somewhere in Ranikhet

Atoms are basic to any element. They consist of protons, neutrons in the nucleus and the electrons, spinning and circling the nucleus. It is like our solar system: sun is the nucleus and planets are spinning and circling around it. Feynman did his research on spinning of the electrons and while doing it, he remembered and applied his mathematics regarding spinning and wobbling of the plates. He got Nobel Prize for it in 1966. 

The second point that I wish to make is, fun is not a waste of time. It is more important than cramming or mugging up the books or the grades in a class. Don’t miss it with your child. This is not only the best thing for him but for you as well. This will be the happy memories in the evening of your life.

At Solar Eclipse on 24th October 1995 with son, nephew and their friend

Thank you once again for giving me this opportunity.

Jai Hind

#YatindraSingh 

Yatindra Singh, Yatindra Singh, 

Grandparents Day,